Chimpanzee Jack

Technorati Tag(s): People, Opinion

Just like you, I've been somewhat following the Jackson events with a morbid, amused, serves-you-right eye.

Here you have one of the richest, most famous--loved, even--people of all time screwing it up over and over and over again.

In my country, Jackson was a rage; one of the first English artists to find his way in the market.

I have a few good memories of trying to shake it like Jack on songs like Black or White and Jam.

I didn't have the net back then, and I didn't know he'd had his skin lightened. I didn't care. He had groovy beats and at least some of his words sounded okay--blame it on not hearing enough English music. If I'd known Pink Floyd before I knew Michael--let's not even think about that pleasant scenario.

The first shocker came when I saw a Michael Jackson documentary. His face, dammit. He'd screwed it up so bad that the only angle the cameraman could really use is one which didn't have Jackson's face in it.

His speech. That's exactly what it felt like; a kid reciting a memorized speech. Frankly, for the whole duration of the show, I couldn't figure out if I was hearing a man or a woman. Dad suggested it was something in between. We had a laugh over that, but I thought it's more than possible.

Here is a man who can live anywhere he wants, but creates his own Neverland. Okay, I don't think that's bad or even ridiculous, but all the money in the world and you still give us jackass comments like your deformed mouth and nose are the result of a disease and subsequent reconstructive surgery? Dude, please, they could've given you the most perfect jawbone and nose in the world, and they gave you this? I don't see how they could, unless you specifically asked for it.

I mean, come on, Celine Dion looks better than you! And I never thought she could be toppled from the top.

He does things like hanging his own kid outside a window for the media to see. Before that, he marries someone like... uh, no comment.

He gives us lie after lie after lie, and then when something like child molestation comes up he pleads innocence. And expects us to believe him.

The point is, it doesn't matter if I or anyone else believes Michael did it or not; he quite literally dug his own grave by doing everything he could've not done but did.

I often hear people say I'd give anything to be rich. Well, I wouldn't want to be Michael Jackson; not for all the money in the world.

You want to see an example of what a complete fuck up is? Michael Jackson is it.