Friday the Jason Xth

Technorati Tag(s): Movies, Review, Horror

I don't even know why the original Friday the 13th was titled so. I haven't seen it. I've seen five sequels, although don't ask me which ones. It's kinda immaterial, isn't it?

Last Saturday I saw Jason X, which is more like Jason in Outer Space.¹

It begins in a top secret lab on some Mars-like planet where Jason is held captive. As the film's heroine will later tell us, they keep him there because he just can't die. They've tried everything, she says. From fire to knives to bullets to what have you.

And this is where I saw the first blooper. Why don't you just cut Jason into X pieces and store them in seperate platinum containers, or something? I don't remember watching any Friday the 13th sequel where anyone attempts this. Not one. Though once you find out he can't be killed, chopping him into pieces is the most logical option. To me, at least.

Anyway, as with all top secret facilities, things go wrong, and the heroine and Jason end up being frozen solid.

Cut to the future and a bunch of discoverers, uh, discover them. They bring them on their spaceship, which has a neat gizmo that can refabricate lost tissue and bone so you can lose all the limbs you want and still get 'em back. They drag the two frozen bodies to the spaceship.

Needless to say, a lot of random nonsense happens, and both the heroine and Jason wake up. There's a lot of random killing, and in the end Jason ends up at the bottom of an ocean/sea/river/lake. Only, this Jason is more Terminator than slasher.

Now, I am a self-confessed B-movie geek, but Jason X is just irritating. I suspect it's a prequel to more new, improved Terminator Jason sequels, but do we really need anymore of those? At least with me, if a metal man isn't Arnie, I'm not interested.

File this one under nonsense.

______________
¹In case you're wondering why I'm talking about a movie I saw a week back, check the date of this entry.